Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Greater Treasures Blog Tour!

The Writer's Chatroom Chat Rules

by Vern the Dragon

Once again, I, Karina, and Sister Grace will be in the Writers Chat Room, this time to promote the novella Greater Treasures. Grace and I will share the computer, and I have the feeling some other yahoos from other stories might drop by Karina’s to say hi. We’ll see. This is my show, after all.

I always have a good time doing this. The chatters are good with questions and banter, and know (for the most part) how to treat a dragon. Of course, there’s always someone new, so I thought I’d take this opportunity to set a few ground rules:

#1. If you want to make jokes about my eating people, they’d better be good ones. Truth is, I haven’t snacked on human flesh in nearly nine centuries—something that comes up in Greater Treasures, as a matter of fact. Not that I haven’t been tempted, mind you, especially when someone has to make a remark like, “Don’t make him mad, or he’ll eat you.” It’s not that I offend easily, but have you any idea how many times I’ve heard that since coming to the Mundane world? If you want to make that kind of joke, you’d better find an original approach. I promise to do the same.

#2. It’s all about me. (And Sister Grace and Karina, but mostly me.) I don’t want to hear about your dinner unless you’re sharing, or your personal troubles, or the book you’re writing. You have a dragon character, too? Finish the book and get your own time slot. Sunday night is my night. (And Grace’s and Karina’s, but mostly mine.) So take your side conversations to the side—i.e., private messages--and if someone walks in late, there’s no reason for the whole room to greet him. The only times that’s appropriate is in a bar where everyone knows your name--or when I walk into a room, but I’m a dragon. Along those lines, if any characters drop by, go ahead and give them some attention, but if they try to steal my show, I’ll be telling them the same thing, only not as sweetly.

#3. I’m not like a dragon of Mundane legend. Faerie dragons are immortal and androgynous. IE, there are a few of us, we don’t reproduce, and we don’t die. We can, however, be seriously inconvenienced. So, no jokes about getting killed, no innuendos about the damsels I may or may not have captured, no asking about my romantic life. Tell you what, though: I’ll give a free ebook to the first person to ask me in chat about some of the times I’ve been seriously inconvenienced. Can you believe no one’s asked me that before?

#4. Relax; I won’t bite you. Seriously. The last time I bit someone was when I was starving to the point of losing my mind, and I needed the magic ring he was wearing…and he was a middle-manager megalomaniac who deserved it. I come to the chat room to relax and have some fun. And hopefully sell some of my books, which brings me to…

#5. Show some appreciation: Feed the dragon and Audrey. If you can afford a buck, buy the ebook—and do it through the TWC page. A fiver will get you the print version. If you don’t have a dollar to spare, don’t worry about it. I’ve had my share of times when I filled my belly with alley rats. Also, if you wish to feed my ego, by all means, gush. Pay no attention to what Grace says about it.

Winner of the 2010 INDIE for best Fantasy (Magic, Mensa and Mayhem), Karina Fabian has imagination that takes quirky twists that keep her--and her fans--amused. Nuns working in space, a down-and-out Faerie dragon working off a geas from St. George, zombie exterminators—there’s always a surprise in Fabian’s worlds. Mrs. Fabian teaches writing and book marketing seminars, but mostly is concerned with supporting her husband, Rob Fabian as he makes the exciting leap from military officer to civilian executive, getting her kids through high school and college, and surviving daily circuit torture…er, circuit training. Read about her adventures at http://fabianspace.com .

Vern gripes about the junk in his warehouse in Greater Treasures, but he and Grace have started going through boxes, and they’ve agreed to send something to one of my readers.  Leave a comment or question for Karina, Vern, or Sister Grace.

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