The Hidden Killers of Your Writing

by John B. Rosenman

We all do it. We’re all guilty. To a greater or lesser extent, we’re all infected by the same disease, and the same sneaky little devils slip right past our guard and into our writing.

What are these sneaky little devils? Why, they’re bad habits, subliminal stuttering. Or to put it more plainly, they’re overused words and phrases, patterns of language and expression. To be a bit dramatic, they are hidden killers of our writing.

Am I going too far? I don’t think so. At their best, overused words, phrases, italics, ellipses, exclamation points and their like are invisible irritants and defects that deplete our prose and diminish the reader’s pleasure in what we’ve written. There is a repetitive annoying sameness to our style. Yes, some repetition is good and can enhance our writing, but often we need to experiment with different ways of expression rather than fall back on old habits which are all the more insidious because we are usually unaware of them.

One of my wicked but excellent editors has a habit of highlighting in different colors the words I overuse. Some of them are THAT, BUT, THEN, AND THEN, SUDDENLY, JUST, ABOUT, LIKE, HAD. I don’t think phrases plague me too much, though I’m not free from their contagion, but I know I do tend to overuse the ellipsis. I dot dot dot too much!

Fortunately, today we have computers and other devices, and we can troubleshoot and repair many of these faults with the FIND and the FIND and REPLACE feature. Try it out yourself if you haven’t done so already. Type in certain words and phrases and see how many times they are highlighted. If your manuscript is two hundred pages long and your software says you use “suddenly” seventeen times, you may not have a problem. However, if you use “suddenly” a hundred and seventeen times, you probably do. If you notice you use a certain phrase twice or three times on the same page, such as “Rising to his feet,” or “Turning his [or her] head,” then check it out. If you have your characters rising to their feet or turning their heads too often, you may need to revise their actions.

On the screen, colored highlights are pretty; however, whatever their hue, they might be red flags. We need to consider them closely and objectively and ask ourselves if a lot of work is needed to revise and replace repetitive words. As a writer, I’ve found I’ve had to seek synonyms and new ways of expression.

Often, however, the best remedy is simple deletion. Just ask yourself, in this particular situation, do I really need to use that word or phrase again? It can be challenging and enlightening, even fun and rewarding to eliminate and avoid words you overuse, to make your writing tighter, cleaner, and more effective. Go on an adverb hunt. Stalk the dangerous adverb which sucks verbs dry. (“Suddenly,” mentioned before, is an adverb.) Excuse the repetition here, but these overused words are often invisible to the writer but not to the reader, and they do weaken and drain our writing in various ways. The writer should rigorously seek them out and prune them.

Here’s one embarrassing personal stat: in examining the first draft of a novel I recently wrote, I found I had used the word “that” (perhaps my most overused word) 966 times in 86,400 words. I believe “that that” use of “that” is too much.

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Okay, let’s try to make this a little interesting. Next Wednesday we’ll have a contest featuring a small unedited section from the first draft of my SF romantic action-adventure novel Inspector of the Cross, published by MuseItUp Publishing. (It is available here )


I’ll be offering THREE prizes to three different individuals. The person who wins third place gets their choice of one of my eBooks at MuseItUp’s site. Just go there, peruse the eight books I’ve published, and decide which books you want to win. Second place gets his or her choice of two, and first place (if she’s a female), gets a date with the author. No, just joking. First place gets his or her choice of three of my eBooks.

I’ll post all the rules right here next Wednesday. Be ready!

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John B Rosenman has published nearly twenty books, including SF action-adventure novels such as Beyond Those Distant Stars and Speaker of the Shakk (Mundania Press), A Senseless Act of Beauty (Crossroad Press), and Alien Dreams (Drollerie Press and Crossroad Press). Shorter books include A Mingling of Souls and Music Man (XoXo Publishing), Here Be Dragons (Eternal Press), The Voice of Many Waters (Blue Leaf Publications), Green in Our Souls (Damnation Books), and Bagonoun’s Wonderful Songbird and Childhood’s Day (Gypsy Shadow Publishing). Visit his website or blog to learn more.

JQ Rose Press Releases

 JQ Rose (Janet Glaser), a regular chatter and previous guest author, has graciously allowed us to use her press release as a chat topic. We will be discussing her press release, and how to write our own, in the June 12, 2013 chat. Review her release, and bring your questions to chat!


JANET GLASER WRITING AS J.Q. ROSE (mailing address)

Press Release

Contact: Janet Glaser

Phone: ########## FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

April 2013

LOCAL WOMEN FEATURED IN BOOK FOR GIRLS

Athlete Mackenzie Woodring, originally from Holton, and artist and children’s book author, Jane Stroschin, Fremont, are featured in a new e-book, Girls Succeed: Stories Behind the Careers of Successful Women, released by local author, Janet Glaser, who writes as J.Q. Rose.

Woodring is the 2012 Michigan Pro State Champions at USA Cycling’s Road Race and won gold, silver, and bronze medals in the 2008 Beijing Paralympics. Jane Stroschin’s delightful children’s books and artwork are beloved by residents of this area as well as around the country.

Girls Succeed is an interactive e-book about non-traditional careers for women and includes interviews with fifteen remarkable women who have achieved recognition for accomplishment in their occupations. The diverse group of careers encompasses women in the arts, business, science, medicine, ministry, entertainment, and sports. Stories about women who have stamped out disease, made people laugh, earned Olympic and Paralympic gold medals, and crossed the country in the cab of an eighteen wheeler, are just some of the chapters which inspire and empower girls to reach for their dreams. The e-book is available at major online booksellers such as Amazon and Kobo.

“It was a privilege to interview the fabulous women and share their stories with readers,” Glaser said.

In 1976 Janet Glaser and husband, Ted, purchased Fairview Floral in Fremont from Jacob and Nellie Schornagel. They settled down in Fremont and raised their daughters, Sara Wolfsen and Lee Ann Clausen, and “grew” the floral business into Fairview Floral and Garden Center, Inc. re-locating it to the corner of Green and 48th St.

After selling the business in 1995, Glaser became a regular contributor to the Times-Indicator--the beginning of a career in writing articles for newspapers, magazines, and online magazines. Glaser is also the author of mysteries published by MuseItUp Publishing. Her latest mystery is Coda to Murder, which takes place in a small town in Michigan.